;; Those works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License. <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/> ; This file is derivative work, therefore: ; Here's the attribution: great works, Munroe ; everything is from <http://xkcd.com> ; each comic is at <http://xkcd.com/<number>/> where <number> is the number at the start of each line ; the rest of each line after the file name is the comic's comment, by Munroe himself helicopter_640.jpg Captain Phillip Sprincin. That's right, a fucking helicopter. xkcd_logride.jpg The thoughtful looks. The apparent midgame. The hand on the chin. It's perfect. Clockwise from top left: Andrew Burke, Chris Ranker, Ryan DowlingSoka, and Chance Brown. xkcd_mummy.jpg Jordan Stosky (right, looking at the board) and his friend Lucas travel from Canada to Florida to play chess on the Revenge of the Mummy coaster. xkcd_loch_ness_monster.jpg That's Nate Jellis on the Loch Ness monster at Busch Gardens, Virginia. They had trouble sneaking the board and pieces on the coaster, and had to tape them on as they were going up. The souvenier photo didn't work out but they snapped this shot with a camera smuggled on-board. I've ridden that coaster, and I'm amazed they held on to the board. composite_sketch.jpg e_to_the_pi_times_i_huge.png free_software.png lojban_translated.png useless_thumb.png xkcd_ufs.jpg 1 barrel_cropped_(1).jpg Don't we all. (part 1) 2 trees_cropped_(1).jpg 'Petit' being a reference to Le Petit Prince, which I only thought about halfway through the sketch Petit Trees (sketch) 3 island_color.jpg Hello, island Island (sketch) 4 landscape_cropped_(1).jpg There's a river flowing through the ocean Landscape (sketch) 5 blownapart_color.jpg Blown into prime factors 6 irony_color.jpg It's commonly known that too much perspective can be a downer. 7 girl_sleeping_noline_(1).jpg I don't remember her name at all, but she fell asleep on the floor in front of me. Girl sleeping (Sketch -- 11th grade Spanish class) 8 red_spiders_small.jpg They are six-legged spiders 9 firefly.jpg Mal, Simon, Wash, Zoe, River, Kaylee, Jayne, Irana, Book. (Serenity is coming out tomorrow) 10 pi.jpg My most famous drawing, and one of the first I did for the site (Pi Equals) 11 barrel_mommies.jpg Awww. (part 2) 12 poisson.jpg Poisson distributions have no value over negative numbers 13 canyon_small.jpg They're standing at the lip of the canyon, which isn't clear at all. 14 copyright.jpg After reading Slashdot and BoingBoing, sometimes I have to go outside 15 just_alerting_you.jpg Just thought you should know 16 monty_python.jpg I went to a dinner where there was a full 10 minutes of Holy Grail quotes exchanged, with no context, in lieu of conversation. It depressed me badly. Monty Python -- Enough 17 what_if.jpg I once made an anniversary card for my then-girlfriend with this layout. 18 snapple.jpg Sn = tin 19 george_clinton.jpg I still wish it were true. 20 ferret.jpg My brother had a ferret he loved which died since I drew this strip. RIP. 21 kepler.jpg Science joke. You should probably just move along. 22 barrel_whirlpool.jpg A whirlpool! (part 3) 23 t-shirts.jpg It's depressing how many of these are real shirts 24 godel_escher_kurthalsey.jpg I love the idea here, though of course it's not a great-quality drawing or scan. 25 barrel_part_4.jpg :( 26 fourier.jpg That cat has some serious periodic components 27 meat_cereals.jpg Disgusting 28 elefino.jpg Hell if I know 29 hitler.jpg So he's saying that God thought Hitler's art was so bad that the Holocaust was an acceptable alternative. It's no secret that the hat guy is closely based on Aram, from Men in Hats. 30 donner.jpg Some people haven't heard of the Donner Party. They were pioneers who got stranded and likely resorted to cannibalism. 31 barrel_part_5.jpg Too good not to happen. 32 pillar.jpg A comic by my brother Doug, redrawn and rewritten by me 33 self-reference.jpg I think about self-reference a lot. Example: this comment. 34 flowers.jpg This is actually pencil on paper, just inverted and colored 35 sheep.jpg I think it's the sheep zapping the cactus and not vice-versa 36 scientists.jpg A leading expert characterized the situation as 'retarded' 37 hyphen.jpg I do this constantly 38 apple_jacks.jpg There used to be these ads, see... 39 bowl.jpg For the moment it's a standoff 40 light.jpg Like a beacon 41 unspeakable_pun.jpg I don't want to talk about it Old Drawing 42 geico.jpg David did this 43 red_spiders_2.jpg This was actually drawn years before Red Spiders 44 love.jpg Thin one makes me wince every time I think about it 45 schrodinger.jpg There was no alt-text until you moused over 46 secrets.jpg I'm a big fan of Kurt Halsey 47 counter-red-spiders.jpg I hope we can stop them 48 found.jpg No more, no less 49 want.jpg Well, she's pretty hot. 50 penny_arcade.jpg Of course, Penny Arcade has already mocked themselves for this. They don't care. 51 malaria.jpg The malaria party was David's idea 52 secret_worlds.jpg No two adjancent circles are the same color. 53 hobby.jpg The only noe of these games I really played was Area 51 54 science.jpg Bonus points if you can identify the science in question 55 useless.jpg Even the identity matrix doesn't work normally 56 the_cure.jpg My first try at drawing a real face in years 57 wait_for_me.jpg Opening dialogue by Scott 58 why_do_you_love_me.jpg Opening dialogue by Scott 59 graduation.jpg Opening dialogue by Scott 60 super_bowl.jpg The Super Bowl is actually an elaborate ruse, concocted by a shadowy group in the mid sixties for this purpose. The 'watch it for the ads' addition was a master stroke. 61 staceys_dad.jpg I bet she gets you to mown the lawn, doesn't she? 62 karnaugh.jpg Love and circuit analysis, hand in hand at last. Valentine - Karnaugh 63 valentine.jpg Just pretend you're kidding. 64 solar_plexus.jpg It hurts to be hit there, you know 65 banter.jpg This was an actual mock conversation between me and a friend at TGiF. The waitress walked up around panel 5 and was somewhat put off. 66 abusive_astronomy.jpg Medium: Pencil on paper 67 nerd_girls.jpg Nothing personal, high schoolers. 68 five_thirty.jpg The 8th panel is my favorite 69 pillow_talk.jpg Maybe I should've tried Wexler? 70 guitar_hero.jpg And then do it again in a moment now that they're out of Star Power 71 in_the_trees.jpg It was tricky. 72 classhole.jpg A term coined by my friend Beth 73 zeppelin.jpg A tribute to Buttercup Festival 74 su_doku.jpg This one is from the Red Belt collection, of 'medium' difficulty. 75 curse_levels.jpg I find so much fun in language. 76 familiar.jpg :( 77 bored_with_the_internet.jpg I used to do this all the time. 78 garfield.jpg The use of the 'Garfield' character for the purposes of this parody qualifies as fair use under the Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. sec. 107. See Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music (92-1292), 510 U.S. 569 79 iambic_pentameter.jpg Of course, you don't wanna limit yourself to the strict forms of the meter. That could get pretty difficult. 80 other_car.jpg It's much better than the other one. My Other Car 81 attention_shopper.jpg There's a red convertible outside my building with the license plate 'DADS MNY'. 82 frame.jpg ... 83 katamari.jpg As the King of All Cosmos remaked, 'Is it that it's fun, or that it lets you forget yourself?' 84 national_language.jpg She's pretty sharp when provoked. 85 paths.jpg It's true, I think about this all the time. 86 sony_microsoft_mpaa_riaa_apple.jpg If you're interested in the subject, Lawrence Lessig's 'Free Culture' is pretty good Digital Rights Management 87 velociraptors.jpg You're probably thinking, 'has it been a decade?' It's been over thirteen years, buddy. 88 escher_wristband.jpg The only downside is that it would be a little uncomfortable 89 gravitational_mass.jpg She's so fat the attraction goes up as the CUBE of the distance instead of the square 90 jacket.jpg We have this conversation at least once a day in my apartment 91 pwned.png I'm sure a discussion of the reason for the disappearance of adventure games in favor of RPGs would be fascinating 92 sunrise.jpg Sometimes, I sit on top of parking decks and watch the sun rise. I feel like I should have a guitar or something. 93 jeremy_irons.jpg Movies that I know word-for-word, part one 94 profile_flowchart.jpg This one goes out to xxCrazyPixie1987xx Profile Creation Flowchart 95 the_sierspinski_penis_game.jpg Inappropriate places for the Penis Game include baby showers and terrorist attacks 96 mail.png I'm on the USPS No Fly List 97 a_simple_plan.jpg This is true. The lyrics are ridiculous. 98 fall_apart.jpg #pugglewumper Tashari got me some ink pens! I've been experimenting with them. 99 binary_heart.jpg i love you 100 family_circus.jpg This was my friend David's idea 101 laser_scope.jpg I wish I'd missed you then so I wouldn't be missing you now 102 back_to_the_future.jpg He's kind of an asshole, when you think about it 103 moral_relativity.jpg It's science! 104 find_you.jpg I'm like the Terminator, except with love! 105 parallel_universe.jpg It's possible. Better to be on the safe side. 106 wright_brothers.png I'm not sure if this is actually true 107 snake_on_a_plane_2.jpg James suggested this, and I have to agree. It'd be much worse. 108 mc_hammer_slide.png Once, long ago, I saw this girl go by. I didn't stop and talk to her, and I've regretted it ever since. M.C. Hammer Slide 109 spoiler_alert.png And then it turns out they're both Tyler Durden. 110 clark_gable.jpg Frankly, my dear, I don't give a BITCH ASS SHIT FUCK DAMN 111 firefox_wicca.png ThisadpaidforbythecounciltepromoteMicrosoftandChristanity. Remember, The Bible is Closed Source. Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection? 112 baring_my_heart.png I'm just trying to explain, please don't be jealous! Man, why are all my relationships ruined by early 90's rappers? 113 riemann-zeta.jpg The graph is of the magnitude of the function with the real value between 0 and 2 and the imaginary between about 35 and 40. I've misplaced the exact parameters I used. 114 computational_linguists.png Chomskyists, generative linguists, and Ryan North, your days are numbered. 115 meerkat.jpg Gorilla, yes. Adorable golden retriever, yes. But it says nothing about meerkats. 116 city.jpg God, she's such a whore. 117 pong.png Following this, the pong paddle went on a mission to destroy Atari headquarters and, due to a mixup, found himself inside the game The Matrix Reloaded. Boy, was THAT ever hard to explain to him. 118 50_ways.png I woke up to find that I had scrawled the last line of this sleepily on a sheet of paper on my desk. I shouldn't have listened to the 70's hit marathon on the way home from work the night before. 119 hedgeclipper.jpg You can just see his dejection as he realizes he's the lead guitar in 'Hedgeclipper' Worst Band Name Ever 120 dating_service.png I don't understand why people are so disingenuous! I just want someone to talk with! 121 balloon.png So I'm a bad person. 122 quirky_girls.png Romantic comedy heroines, I'm talking to you. 123 centrifugal_force.png You spin me right round, baby, right round, in a manner depriving me of an inertial reference frame. Baby. 124 blogofractal.png Edward Tufte's 'The Visual Display of Quantitative Information' is a fantastic book, and should be required reading for anyone in either the sciences or graphic design. 125 marketing_interview.png There are a lot of books on marketing out there. I wonder if you're safest just buying the most popular one. 126 red_spiders_cometh.jpg Uh-oh. 127 the_fast_and_the_furious.jpg Sometimes when I steer shopping carts around corners, I slide them a little and pretend I'm getting the blue spark boost. 128 dPain_over_dt.png You laugh to keep from crying, you do math to keep from crying... 129 content_protection.png If you think the purveyors of DRM simply want to protect artists, check out chapters 13 and 14 in Free Culture, by Lawrence Lessig. Their goal is the elimination of all culture they don't control. 130 julia_stiles.jpg I found an old tape of this episode in my family's closet. Check the news section of the forums to see the clip! 131 fans.png It's not going to break the fan, bouncing a rubber ball off the wall isn't going to dent it, and the roof can hold me just fine. You LIED! 132 music_knowledge.png When Guitar Hero 2 comes out I'll have fresh conversation materials for MONTHS. 133 the_raven.jpg Yes, Eminem is wearing a sleeveless hoodie. What of it? 134 myspace.png It's like they got together and said 'what do we miss most from the internet in 1998? that's right, embedded MIDI!' 135 substitute.png YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? 136 science_fair.png This project actually inspired a two-hour powerpoint presentation that Al Gore gave around the country. 137 dreams.png In Connor's second thesis it is stated 'There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.' Does the routine to destroy our creativity or do we lose creativity and fall into the routine? Anyway, who's up for a road trip! 138 pointers.png Every computer, at the unreachable memory address 0x-1, stores a secret. I found it, and it is that all humans ar-- SEGMENTATION FAULT. 139 electric_skateboards.png Both skateboards I owned were pretty cheap and broke from heavy use; I'm gonna get a really nice one if I move to the city. I Have Owned Two Eletric Skateboards 140 delicious.png I'm currently in the I Have Cheese phase of this cycle. 141 achewood.png I always wanted to impress them with how well I could hear, didn't you? Also, this sets the record for number of awkward-pause panels in one strip (previously held by Achewood) Parody Week: Achewood 142 megaxkcd.png I just want to give him a hug or something. Parody Week: Megatokyo 143 tfd_nataliedee.png Although bees with tires would be kinda funny. Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee 144 a_softer_robot.jpg The robot is pregnant. It isn't mine. Parody Week: A Softer World 145 dinosaur_comics.png Guys: while I was writing this, I accidentally swallowed a table-sized slab of drywall. I know! Wacky. Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics 146 join_myspace.png I really shouldn't abuse that power so heavily. 147 a_way_so_familiar.png Two Hedwig references, an obscure Joey Comeau reference, and a girl with a mohawk. Yes. 148 mispronouncing.png My pal Emad does this all the time. 'Hey man, which way to the airpart?' 149 sandwich.png Proper User Policy apparently means Simon Says. 150 grownups.png I've looked into this, and I can't figure out a way to do it cheaply. And I guess it wouldn't be sanitary. 151 mario.png Why would anyone ever, ever say that? Please, nobody ever say that. 152 hamster_ball.png Reportedly, double-walled inflatable balls like this exist somewhere. Now to find that place. 153 cryptography.png If you got a big keyspace, let me search it. 154 beliefs.jpg Scientists are also sexy, let's not forget that. 155 search_history.png SomethingAwful has a wonderful compilation of crazy AOL search in their Weekend Web archives, 2006-08-13. 156 commented.png Your IDE's color may vary. 157 filler_art.png Maybe I should let up on Megatokyo a little? 158 six_months.png But then she does that thing with her tongue and I remember why I left you. 159 boombox.png And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. 160 penny_arcade_parody.png No one show this to Tycho's wife, okay? 161 accident.png As far as treachery-as-driving-music goes, Katamari music is matched only by Guitar Hero music. 162 angular_momentum.jpg With reasonable assumptions about latitude and body shape, how much time might she gain them? Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. (Also, is it worth it if she throws up?) 163 donald_knuth.png His books were kinda intimidating; rappelling down through his skylight seemed like the best option. 164 global_warming.png There are so many well-meaning conservatives around here who just assume global warming is only presented as a moral issue for political reasons. Playing Devil's Advocate to Win 165 turn_signals.png I'm not very good at meeting people. 166 misusing_slang.png It slowly dawns on us that our parents knew exactly what they were doing. 167 nihilism.png Why can't you have normal existential angst like all the other boys? 168 reverse_euphemisms.png I'm still waiting for a chance to use 'I have to see a man about a horse'. 169 words_that_end_in_gry.png The fifth panel also applies to postmodernists. 170 turn_back.png I hear that these days Bill Watterson is happy just painting the Ohio woods with his father and doesn't get any moil or talk to anyone. 171 string_theory.png This works on pretty much every level. 172 skateboarding_is_not_a_crime.png 'Arrest me, I'm a skateboarder' is an event more obnoxious variant. 173 movie_seating.png It's like traveling salesman problem, bet the endpoints are different and you can't ask your friends for help because they're sitting three seats down. 174 thats_what_she_said.png Yes, I mean she said that during sex. Yes, it was a little weird. That's What SHE Said 175 automatic_doors.png I hope no automatic doors I know read this. I would be so embarrassed. 176 before_sunrise.png It's an amazing time of day; the light is great for photography. 177 alice_and_bob.png Yet one mare reason I'm barred from speaking at crypto conferences. 178 not_really_into_pokemon.png As of this writing, Ubuntu 6.10 and Firefox 2.0 have left my computer a complete mess. 179 e_to_the_pi_times_i.png I have never been totally satisfied by the explanations for why e to the ix gives a sinusoidal wave. 180 canada.png IT'S ALL REAL 181 interblag.png Sometimes I hate the internet. Sometimes it makes me happy that 'The Tubes' has become slang for the internet so quickly. 182 nash.png Maybe someday science will get over its giant collective crush on Richard Feynman. But I doubt it! 183 snacktime_rules.png I am not making this rule up. Although my mom wants you all to know it made perfect sense at the time. 184 matrix_transform.png In fact, draw all your rotational matrices sideways. Your professors will love it! And then they'll go home and shrink. 185 wikifriends.png It's crazy how much my gut opinion of a movie/song is swayed by what other people say, regardless of how I felt coming out of the theater. 186 console_lines.png If I get a Wii, it will be the first game console I've owned. 187 the_familiar.png When I say we should do something sometime, I'm secretly hoping you'll say 'Why not now?' 188 reload.png And watch out for that guy from comic #53. 189 exercise.png I haven't had the patience for RPGs in a long time. 190 ipod.png For smaller numbers he has to SAVE lives. The birthrate channel is even more of a mixed bag. IPoD 191 lojban.png zo'o to jitfa .i .e'o xu do pendo mi 192 working_for_google.png I hear once you've worked there for 256 days they teach you the secret of levitation. 193 the_perfect_sound.png Oh, what a pity, can't you understand... 194 penises.png The penis varies in size when flaccid and is pretty consistently about yea big when erect. Anyway, back to the sitcom one-liners and the constant flow of spam. 195 map_of_the_internet.jpg For the IPv6 map just imagine the XP default desktop picture. 196 command_line_fu.png When designing an interface, imagine that your program is all that stand between the user and hot, sweaty, tangled-bedsheets-fingertips-digging-into-the-back sex. 197 ninja_turtles.png The henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents. 198 perspective.png I wonder what I was dreaming to prompt that. I hope it wasn't the Richard Stallman Cirque de Soleil thing again. 199 right_hand_rule.png To really expand try some noncartesian porn. Edwin Abbot Abbott has nothing on 'Girls on Girls in Tightly Closed Nonorientable Spaces'. 200 bill_nye.png You could at least not wear the lab coat everywhere, dude. 201 christmas_gps.png If it's over water, and you can't get a boat or revise the rules to preserve the makeout, there is no helping you. 202 youtube.png I pray GunPistolMan never learns the word 'sheeple'. YouTube 203 halluchinations.png And the possibility of lucid dreaming just makes it that much more fascinating. 204 america.png The younger folk in the audience think this is a joke. 205 candy_button_paper.png Nonrewritable tape? 206 reno_rhymes.png Did you shoot a man in Reno? Now, I don't mean to pry. 207 what_xkcd_means.png It means shuffling quickly past nuns on the street with ketchup in your palms, pretending you're hiding stigmata. 208 regular_expressions.png Wait, forgot to escape a space. Wheeeeee[taptaptap]eeeeee. 209 kayak.png Man, there's future *everywhere*. 210 90s_flowchart.png Freestyle rapping is basically applied Markov chains. 211 hamster_ball_heist.png First person to bring me Wayne Coyne in a hamster ball gets a free t-shirt! He gets one too. 212 brain.png The rest is fear of raptors. 213 ghostbusters_marathon.png If you walk out that door you'll be crossing the Rubicon with me, and that's one stream I'm not ready to cross. 214 the_problem_with_wikipedia.png 'Taft in a wet t-shirt contest' is the key image here. 215 letting_go.png At least I never gave her the root password. 216 romantic_drama_equation.png Real-life prospective-pairing curves over things like age can get depressing. 217 e_to_the_pi_minus_pi.png Also, I hear the 4th root of (9^2 + 19^2/22) is pi. 218 nintendo_surgeon.png Scary thought #138: Raptors coming down the waterside behind me. 219 blanket_fort.png Also, we have a fort out in the woods where we stashed that hooker's body. 220 philosophy.png It's like the squirt bottle we use with the cat. 221 random_number.png RFC 1149.5 specifies 4 as the standard IEEE-vetted random number. 222 small_talk.png But surely I owe you an accurate answer! 223 valentines_day.jpg One of these days me and Joey Corneau will get around to subverting the hetero-normative paradigm and fixing all this. 224 lisp.jpg We lost the documentation on quantum mechanics. You'll have to decode the regexes yourself. 225 open_source.png Later we'll dress up like Big Oil thugs and jump Ralph Nader. 226 swingset.png Someone bring me a pocket fan so I can drift around the yard. 227 color_codes.png (It's the TMBG Dial-a-Song line, to save you some time.) 228 resonance.png It's really hard to control the frequency, actually. 229 graffiti.png FOR AN INTRIGUING TIME CALL 230 halmintonian.png The problem with perspective is that it's bidirectional. 231 cat_proximity.png Yes you are! And you're sitting there! Hi, kitty! 232 chess_enlightenment.png You know that 'sweep the pieces off the board and see it in your mind' thing? Doesn't work. 233 a_new_captcha_approach.png They'd use that Futarama episode with Fry's dog, but even spambots cry at that. 234 escape_artist.png Easier to escape: n-layered nested quotes or an iron maiden? 235 kite.jpg It's easy to regret your awkward conversations but hard to regret the ones you didn't have. 236 collecting_double_takes.png Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: pregnancy test and single coat hanger. 237 keyboards_are_disgusting.png Alternate method: convince them to pretend it's an Etch-a-Sketch and try to erase it. 238 pet_peeve_114.png I'm reading a goddamn book, thank you very much. Pet Peeve #114 239 blagofaire.png Things were better before the Structuring and the Levels. 240 dream_girl.png No matter how elaborately you fool yourself. 241 battle_room.png Bean actually sabotaged it you to give Dink the excuse to make that joke. 242 the_difference.png How could you choose avoiding a little pain over understanding a magic lightning machine? 243 appropriate_term.png I know a lot of people hate these, but I prefer them to touchpads. 244 tabletop_roleplaying.png I may have also tossed one of a pair of teleportation rings into the ocean, with interesting results. 245 floor_tiles.png The worst part is when sidewalk craks are out-of-sync with your natural stride. 246 labyrinth_puzzle.png And the whole setup is just a trap to capture escaping logicians. None of the doors actually lead out. 247 factoring_the_time.png I occasionally do this with mile markers on the highway. 248 hypotheticals.png What if someone broke out of a hypothetical situation in your room right now? 249 chess_photo.png We once tried playing blindfold chess on the Aerosmith ride at Disney World. 250 snopes.png The MythBusters are even more sinister. 251 cd_tray_fight.png This is silly, of course. The enemy will be born in the network. 252 escalators.png The one time I tried, I got hit by a slinky going down at double speed. 253 highway_engineer_pranks.png Pranks #11: Boston 254 comic_fragment.jpg No one wants an explanation more than us. Except Ms. Garofalo. 255 subjectivity.png Or maybe the slide is like Asian, and get taller as I do (except without the feeling of discomfort when I reach my teens and suddenly get the Christ stuff.) 256 online_communities.png I'm waiting for the day when, if you tell someone 'I'm from the internet', instead of laughing they just ask 'oh, what part?' 257 code_talkers.png As far as I can tell, Navajo doesn't have a common word for 'zero'. do-neh-lini means 'neutral'. 258 conspiracy_theories.png There are a lot of graduate-educated young-earth creationists. 259 cliched_exchanges.png It's like they say, you gotta fight fire with clichés. Clichéd Exchanges 260 the_glass_necklace.png Well, for some value of 'actually work'. 261 regarding_mussolini.png Constantly stopping these briefings halfway through is becoming a pain. 262 in_ur_reality.png Hey, at least I ran out of staples. 263 certainty.png a(b+c)=(ab)+(ac). Politicize that, bitches. 264 choices_part_1.jpg Wait, damn, I think I spotted a new email on the last refresh. 265 choices_part_2.jpg Maybe someday I'll get to write the Wikipedia article about this place! Wait, damn, original research. 266 choices_part_3.jpg Wait, this is space -- how are you talking to me? And, as an afterthought, what's up with the hole in reality? 267 choices_part_4.jpg Making out with yourself: now an official xkcd theme? Troubling. 268 choices_part_5.png I wonder what percentage of not-obviously-busy people on the street would say yes to kite-flying with a stranger. This looks like a job for Science! 269 tcmp.png A big obstacle in experimenting with the mind's dream-simulation-engine is holding onto the details as you wake up. With TCMP you can bring back any information you want. 270 merlin.png I mean, the black-and-white stuff was running backward, but it hardly mattered to the story. 271 powers_of_one.png It's kinda Zen when you think about it, if you don't think too hard. 272 linux_user_at_best_buy.png We actually stand around the antivirus displays with the Mac users just waiting for someone to ask 273 electromagnetic_spectrum.png Sometimes I try to picture what everything would look like ifthe whole spectrum were compressed into the visible spectrum. Also sometimes I try to picture your sister naked. 274 with_apologies_to_the_who.png Roger Daltry originally wrote 'Don't try an' Digg what we all say' but erased the second 'g' when he moved to reddit. 275 thoughts.png And now I might never get to again. 276 fixed-width.png I wish I knew how to quit this so I wouldn't have to quit you. 277 long_light.png You can look at practically any part of anything manmade around you and think 'some engineer was frustrated while designing this.' It's a little human connection 278 black_hat_support.png So as not to leave you hanging -- that was a problem with select() calls. 279 pickup_line.png That shirts looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. Let's fucking do it and never look back. 280 librarians.png Don't expect any leniency on late fees, though. 281 online_package_tracking.png I don't even *want* this packages! Why did I join the stinging insect of the month club, anyway? 282 organic_fuel.png I have nothing to apologize for. 283 projection.png Out in a field, not another car for miles, silence but for the rain drumming on the sunroof, warm thick folds of the blanket hiding wordless fingertip games ... 284 tape_measure.png This sequence was later reproduced in the International Tape-Extending Federation archives, retitled 'The Founding of the Sport'. 285 wikipedian_protester.png SEMI-PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION 286 all_your_base.png The AYB retro-return-date (Zero Wing Zero Hour) should be around AD 2021. 287 np_complete.png General solutions get you a 50% tip. 288 elevator.jpg Quick, try it with 'LOVE'. 289 alone.png Worries assuaged, the numbers become less important than your touches. 290 fucking_blue_shells.png You can evade blue shells in Double Dash, but it is deep magic. 291 dignified.png 'I don't know, why is your beret staying on your head?' 'Staples.' 292 goto.png Neal Stephenson thinks it's cute to name his labels 'dengo' 293 rtfm.png Life is too short for man pages, but occasionally much too short without them. 294 bookstore.png You can search it if you want, but you may want to skip the memories of your mom. 295 dne.png I've seen advertisers put their URLs on chalkboards, encircled with a DNE. They went unerased for months. If you see this, feel free to replace the URL with xkcd.com. 296 tony_hawk.png Bad idea #271: Dropping into the half-pipe on a Segway. 297 lisp_cycles I've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the MIT computer science program permamently. 298 tesla_coil.png For scientists, this can be the hardest thing about dreams. 299 aeris_dies.png It's bad enough that all the families in your Sims are just you and Maggie recreated over and over. 300 facebook.png 'Here, I'll put my number in your cell pho -- wait, why is it already here?' 301 limerick.png Fun game: try to post a YouTube comment so stupid that people realize you must be joking. (Hint: this is impossible) 302 names.png I'm always so happy that I successfully nagivated the introduction that I completely forget to pay attention to the name the other person told me. 303 compiling.png 'Are you stealing those LCDs?' 'Yeah, but I'm doing it while my code compiles.' 304 nighttime_stories.jpg Cue angry letters from all seven fans of Xenocide. 305 rule_34.png Okay, Lance. For entry into the college bowl, spell 'Throbbing' 306 orphaned_projects.png His date works for Red Hat, who hired a coach for her, too. He advised her to 'rent lots of movies like Hitch. Guys love those.' 307 excessive_quotation.png Unfortunately for her, real Star Wars fans are attracted to a gal with a good force choke. 308 interesting_life.png Quick, fashion a climbing harness out of cat-6 cable and follow me down. 309 shopping_team.png I am never going out to buy an air conditioner with my sysadmin again. 310 commitment.png Could be worse. The last guy in that situation fell for one of the transient trumpeting angels. 311 action_movies.png By my count, only 48 of the 158 minutes in Live Free or Die Hard have action. That's pathetic, guys. Crank is better, but needs a bigger budget and more Summer Glau. 312 with_apologies_to_robert_frost.png Some say the world will end in fire; some say in segfaults. 313 insomnia.png Crap, I have levitation class at 25:131. Better set the alarm to 'cinnamon'. 314 dating_pools.png The full analysis is of course much more complicated, but I can't stay to talk about it because I have a date. 315 braille.png The only big difference I've seen is in colors. Where the regular text reads "press red button", the braille reads "press two-inch button". 316 loud_sex.png Spherical or parabolic reflectors would of course lead to aberrant behavior. 317 that_lovin_feelin.png Maybe there's no tenderness in her fingertips either, but at least SHE puts out. 318 nostalgia.png If you don't get this one, don't google it. 319 engineering_hubris.png Chuck Jones is a vengeful god.
